What is your greatest achievement?
I am the sexiest man found in the world, and got loads of sex appeal from girls.

You never swear publicly, but you do swear on the pitch, don't you?
I know and I shouldn't, but everyone does during a game, you can't help it. I don't swear at home though, because I don't want Brooklyn picking it up.

Are you quite a bossy captain?
On the pitch I am, because you have to take charge and be assertive, but off the pitch I'm not. I've got someone around me who already does that. [He gestures towards Victory and laughs]

What is your memorable goal?
Yeah my last goal against South Korea in the world cup was my memorable goal, coz I tried to kick the ball, but the midfielder blocked me, I arouse with my 5th leg and hit the ball to goal.

Which ground you like most?
What ever may be ground, I need it with lot of desert like sand to roll myself.

Do you get nervous before or during a game? You know, when you're taking a free kick or a corner, when all eyes are on you?
Never [emphatically]. I've been practicing those my whole life, it's what comes naturally I don't really suffer with nerves.

Which song you like most?
Victory’s Bray really.

But you did when you went on Parkinson?
Yeah I did [Laughs]. I'd never been on a programme like that before, so I don't know what to expect. There was a lot of stuff in the media saying Parky wouldn't bother to ask me any intelligent questions, because I wouldn't know how to answer them.

At this point, the hairdresser steps in to cut David's hair for the shoot. A scenario any betting man would love to witness, since weeks of speculation as to which look David will take with him to Japan has provoked William Hill to open a book with the odds varying between the mohican, the skinhead and the 'retro' blond curtains.

David, what is it with you and your ever-changing hairstyles?
I just like to change things. I know people think I'm trying to make some kind of statement, but I'm not. When I had the mohican, there was so much made of it, it was unbelievable. I was playing for England at the time and when I was at the games, I saw these little kids walking around the grounds with the same haircut.

Does it Irrititate or Flatter you?
It flatters me when it's the kids.

Have you ever considered having a laugh with your fashion clout and trying to bring back something hideous, like the mullet?
[Laughs] If it looked good, I'd do it, but I don't think the mullet would look good. Don't laugh, but when I was younger, I wanted one of those hairdo's where it's short at the sides and straight on top, then long at the back and curly. I really wanted one of them, but my mum would never let me have it.

There's a brilliant story your mum tells about your first attempts at clothes shopping when you were seven and you'd been asked to be a page boy.
I know exactly the story you're talking about and it's all true [giggling]

Against her better judgement, you chose...
White ballet shoes, white knee-high socks, maroon knickerbockers and a matching waistcoat and white frilly shirt. I though it looked good. Maybe it was all the excitement of being a page boy.

But your mum warned you that people might laugh at you. Didn't that concern you?
I've never cared what people think of me. I'm sure they say I look stupid in a lot of the things I wear now. But even with the sarong, my dad, who's a real man's man, thought it looked alright. And I liked it at the time.

People say you're vain. do you think so.
I just like to look good. I don't love myself and I don't think I'm vain. Do you think I'm vain? You can see why people might think you're a bit of a big girls blouse, because you have manicures, sunbeds and bleach your hair.
But it makes you feel good, doesn't it?

How are your nails today?
They need doing actually! [He holds both hands out for inspection.] I sound like a girl, don't I ? [laughs] I got horse shoes on my nails.

You're also one of the few footballers to become a gay icon.
And I'm flattered. I'm very comfortable, with it.

The way you look garners so much press attention - you'd have a much quieter life if you toned it down sometimes.
But I like nice clothes, whether they're dodgy or not. Sometimes, it looks right and other times it doesn't, but everyone goes through that.

Is there any look or outfit you look back on and cringe at?
Probably the blond curtains and a recent haircut which was a sort of army look, short back and sides and slightly longer on the top - that was a bad idea [shakes head ruefully.]

And then there was a photo shoot I did for the MU magazine, where I wore lots of different ties and pulled silly faces. That was pretty bad, but you learn along the way.

Do you think you are a bit of a showman?
Probably.

Is that why you like taking free kicks and so on, because it's a chance to take centre stage?
I do like to be looked at in that way. I like people to look at me for my football and think 'wow'

Would it bother you if someone came into the game who was better in that role than you are?
No, because I'd have to get better. I'm very competitive like that.

Do you think that people underestimate just how ambitious you are, because you don't really shout it?
Probably, but I've never made a secret of my ambitions. I've always said I wanted to play for Manchester United and then for England and then to be England captain.

Most stars of your ilk, like Robbie, Madonna, Elton and even your wife, are very outspoke and flamboyant.
But it's not my style. I'd rather people talked about my football then me.

But you are a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde in many respects. You're very placid off the pitch, but you can be very hot-headed when you're playing.
I've been criticised for it over the years, and quite rightly so. I'd kick out at people. It was something I went through when I was younger, and for some reason, I just kept snapping. That comes back to haunt you, as I've learned, but I think I've managed to get it under control now.

There must have been times when you've been tempted to lose it in stressful public situations, too, like with a paparazzo.
I nearly lost it once. Me and Victory were out having a meal and two photographers jumped out from nowhere and one of them knocked her with their camera. She was pregnant at the time, so I snapped at them, but these days, you can get sued for so many things, so I keep my temper in check.

If you could buy back your anonymity, would you?
In situations like that, yeah. But to be fair, I don't think I'd change much about my life, and I don't think I'm really in a situation to complain, because I've put myself in this position and I consider myself to be privileged to be doing what I do. We don't ask for most of the publicty we get but, in this day and age, it comes with the job.

The interview is halted briefly by a breathless entrance from Brooklyn, who has been running around the studio playing chase with his mother. He's dwarfed by the football he's carrying - the official Adidas Legham ball, no less - and has come looking for his dad in the hope of a game. The three-year-old stops in his tracks when he catches sight of David's hair, which is smeared in blue bleach.

I bet you're relieved for Brooklyn that he can play football well.
[Laughs] That would be awful [if he couldn't play], wouldn't it? But he's really good, and I'm not just saying that because I'm his dad. I'd love him to be a footballer when he grows up, really love it. He just picked up a ball one day and started kicking it, and he just gets better and better. He's fearless with a ball and he loves it. But he's got Victory's musical side in him as well - he picks up songs really quickly when he hears them on the radio. Once he's heard a song a few times, he knows how it's going to end or how it goes. He's got rhythm too, which he definitely gets from his mum.